I skipped both Sears and the Ezzos. I did watch the Business of Being Born and felt like it too had too much of an agenda. I sort of decided I’d try to figure it out as I went and pick up resources for the specific things I was wrestling with.

I liked the book, Your Baby’s First Year, Week by Week. I am currently reading Effective Parenting in a Defective World by Chip Ingram. The first chapter really challenged me, but since then he’s running off the assumption that our first goal as parenting is to teach our children to obey, and I disagree with that presupposition. I haven’t yet read many of the other popular parenting books, and if you find on that you really like, let me know!

And you know, each time I bought a book because I was really wrestling with something, it passed. Feeding problems, sleeping problems…. none of them really ended up being true problems, just what you WILL wrestle with for a season. And you’ll be great. Love that baby, love your wife, and you’ll be great.

For my babies’ early years, I am absolutely a Dr. Sears fan. In particular, The Birth Book, The Baby Book and The Breastfeeding Book were WORE OUT. Very helpful without being dogmatic. Their pregnancy book (funnily enough, titled “The Pregnancy Book”) is the one I recommend instead of “What to Expect.

If you can find it at the library, rent The Business of Being Born. This is actually a DVD documentary. The best thing about it is that you can see a few natural childbirths and help you realise how positive and life-affirming and NORMAL birth is. I always say that pregnant women should be banned from watching TLC’s A Baby Story – that show will freak a dude out! Childbirth was nothing like that for me and I think people really benefit from seeing a natural childbirth without all the screaming and epidurals, c-sections and inductions and drama etc. So yeah – good to watch!

Personally, I found the What to Expect When You’re Expecting book really discouraging and rather useless, too – just long lists of everything that could go wrong. Everyone reads it but sometimes I think that’s just because “everyone reads it.” The only ones I’d warn away from are Babywise, Growing Kids God’s Way and To Train Up a Child. These are all quite popular in the church but I have not found them helpful and in some cases, very detrimental to babies and their mothers. Of course, you know that my heart leans more towards gentle Christian parenting.

Another good breastfeeding book is The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by the La Leche League. Good and practical. There is a good website for breastfeeding that talks a lot about overcoming the “booby traps” of our culture around breastfeeding and I always learn something there.

Parenting from our heart for our kids (instead of from a “training manual” or a book or the pressure form Christian culture towards a certain method) has made the experience such a joy for us that it’s hard not to want to share these things with people! Ultimately, parenting isn’t something you get from a book, is it? Nothing really is. Like most of us, you’ll read and curate and learn but ultimately, it’s between you, your wife and the Holy Spirit. The biggest piece of advice I have for you is this: Trust you instinct. Trust your gut. Trust the Holy Spirit in you and for you.

Anyway! I could go on and on and on – you know me! I’m just so very happy for you. Praying for your wife’s health and the baby’s health.